Here I am in the airport lounge of JFK airport mid way through my journey home from a magical week of new moments, memories and connections at the doTERRA global convention in Salt Lake City. I am so grateful to all the people who made it possible for me be there.
I have learnt so much! not only with regards to the beautiful oils that I passionately educate on and share. I have also deepened my connection with myself; learning that true love from within comes from a place of allowing our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be seen and heard.
That is why it’s taken me a while to conceive this post.
I am a believer in speaking my truth, and in doing so I await inspiration rather than forcing myself to generate a piece of content for the sake of updating my blog. I have been acutely aware that is has been over three weeks since my last post. Although my aim is to refresh the content at least once a week. I have had to push those feelings of anxiety aside in order to truly be with myself over this time.
I have been pushing hard recently to build my incredible new Essential Oil business. At the same time as looking after my little team of boys during the last few weeks of their summer holidays. This term also saw the start of a completely new chapter in my quadruplets lives; the starting of their 'big' school adventure.
With this exciting new phase in our lives has come a huge range of emotions from them and myself (thank goodness for my emotional oils!). I have been so called 'waiting' for this day for a very long time. In the hardest and darkest days I experienced as a mother of 4 at once, I often thought to myself 'it's ok, this won't last forever and they will soon be at school'. Freeing up some of my time and allowing me to be a fraction of ‘me’ again. That might sound in some ways selfish, however as I am sure you can imagine It has literally been five years of dedication to their every need. From the day I found out I was pregnant with quads (10th Oct 2011) to date, I have put everything I have (as any mother would) into ensuring their safety, health, love and happiness.
Releasing them into their new phase of life has however not been easy. I have had to deal with the truth that my babies are now little boys, and they have had to come to terms with their new found freedom, responsibility, growth and emotions. For the first time in four years they have been separated; each in their own classroom. Something that I have always wanted for their own personal growth and sense of self. My heart has literally ached as I dropped them off in their respective rooms and watched them stand alone unsure of what to do and where to turn.
I feel truly blessed though to have been able to send them to a pioneering government funded Steiner School (Bristol Steiner Academy). This at least gives me true confidence and peace of mind that when I leave them they are being nurtured and educated in a way that will support the heart, mind and spirit. Something which is so very important to me.
Whilst this has been continuing in the day to day I have also been putting the fundamentals of my words and teachings into practice; through a complete revisit of what I stand for 'loving thy self unconditionally'. We are all on an ever evolving journey. No matter how far we have come or how long we have been committed on our paths into self love and inner peace, there are times when you 'forget'. There are times when you have to unlearn again the fear based thoughts and shift yourself back to a place of love.
Current circumstances in my life created a 'tiny mad idea' that shifted me back into a fear based mindset, and brought up a number of inner child feelings of rejection and abandonment. The repercussions of this has meant limiting self beliefs, anxiety, sadness and repetitive negative thought patterns.
At first I was surprised by my perceived 'regression'. That in itself upset and confused me, which lead to more feelings of guilt and self criticism. More now than ever before, I am conscious and fully aware that our thoughts create our reality. So by harbouring these thoughts and allowing my emotions to be lead them I am literally asking the universe for more of the same.
But when I really started to ‘be’ authentically with the sadness and created a daily practice of self care, I was able to comprehend a number of things. I became willing to see things differently and to understand completely what it was that I need to learn and grow from.
My willingness to change and release these crazy thoughts, opened my mind to possibilities. This slowly started to shift me into a place of acceptance and new inspiration. I realised the current circumstances were not really the issue, but it was the very core of my inner child rearing it head. I was able to start tackling the root of the problem head on. Going back to the beginning and practising self love and forgiveness has been my saviour.
Our subconscious beliefs which were ingrained from childhood have such a huge impact on the way we deal with situations and react to circumstances in our adult lives. Chemically what happens during our early years is that our brains start to produce certain chemicals to respond to stressful situations, things like adrenaline or steroids in order to protect ourselves. When we continue to produce those chemicals it doesn't allow our happy or positive chemicals like serotonin to be created. And after repeated events like this our brains actually start to form a habit. Our receptor sites for chemicals such as serotonin actually shrink and become unused. It’s at this point that we start to lay down the tracks in our brains for our belief systems and how we will respond to situations then and even later on in life.
When we are able to identify these ingrained subconscious beliefs and find a method of releasing and replacing them with new positive ones, we literally have the potential to change the sensitivity of the receptor sites that have shrunk. They are not stagnant and can change their arrangement. Therefore we have a bio chemical potential for change. When we start to make this change we have the opportunity to get in front of our thoughts and moods, which allows us to make new decisions and respond to circumstances in a completely different way.
This is why it is so important to be authentic with our thoughts and feelings so we can identify the root cause, understand what it is that we need to learn from them, be willing to change, practice forgiveness, listen to our inner guidance which will help us to start the process of clarity and change. The only way we can start to deeply understand ourselves and our emotions is through tuning into our hearts and mind. Meditation and self care is so important to enable us to do this. I have certainly had a shift in perspective; of my head space and my heart space... allowing inspiration to once again flow into those areas of my heart that were consumed by fear.
I am excited to resume normal Miracle activity and share with you some of the amazing things I have learnt at convention.